there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so explain again why im purple
no
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
