Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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