4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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