I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
