i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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