high people should be assigned attendants
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
