The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
