Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
