At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she peed on how many people?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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