he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
