Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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