Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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