Sry I called you an 8
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
