Your mouth is God's brothel.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
