if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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