YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
