i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
