She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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