everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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