If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
