Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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