did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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