Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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