Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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