You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
