then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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