your thong is hanging out like whoa
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
