this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
