I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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