I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
