People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
