We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
