How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
