you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
