I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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