did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
