Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
