i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
