It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
