conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
