help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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