I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
