matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just blew my weed a kiss
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
