if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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