Who wears a wallet chain?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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