i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize