I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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