Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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