I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
