I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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