I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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