he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He kissed a someone with a penis
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
