Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
