I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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