if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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