I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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