drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
