DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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